I am not a nice person. :-(

February 3, 2005 § 4 Comments

It is long since I have come to the conclusion that I am not a naturally *nice* person. I can sure fake it some of the time, but I lack a certain patience with people that I think is essential to being nice. Call it the “niceness gene.”

This is the gene that can make you smile in the face of imbecility, or patiently nod when someone has talked too long, and hasn’t taken the hint to shut up. I lack that a lot of the time.

Or perhaps, I don’t want to be a *nice* person. Nice is really an insipid word if you think about it. Nice. It’s a simpery passionless adjective that if memory serves, was what one called something that was not of an important nature. That’s a nice hat. Our waitress was very nice.

It does NOT connote care, or kindness or zeal, that’s for sure. Someone can be nice without being caring. A person can smilingly and sweetly hate you to your face. But they’re nice about it.

To be nice is to be polite, calm, genteel. But niceness doesn’t get dirty most of the time. Nice is too clean and proper for that. It primps and preens and simpers, but it doesn’t get the job done. Nice isn’t at all honest either. To be nice is to cover up one’s true feelings about something or someone. I’m not very good at that.

So yeah, I guess I’m NOT a nice person. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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§ 4 Responses to I am not a nice person. :-(

  • julieatnu says:

    Ok, so now I am forced to quote this for you:
    “But now really, do not you think Udolpho the nicest book in the world?”
    “The nicest — by which I suppose you mean the neatest. That must depend upon the binding.”
    “Henry,” said Miss Tilney, “you are very impertinent. Miss Morland, he is treating you exactly as he does his sister. He is forever finding fault with me, for some incorrectness of language, and now he is taking the same liberty with you. The word ‘nicest,’ as you used it, did not suit him; and you had better change it as soon as you can, or we shall be overpowered with Johnson and Blair all the rest of the way.”
    “I am sure,” cried Catherine, “I did not mean to say anything wrong; but it is a nice book, and why should not I call it so?”
    “Very true,” said Henry, “and this is a very nice day, and we are taking a very nice walk, and you are two very nice young ladies. Oh! It is a very nice word indeed! It does for everything. Originally perhaps it was applied only to express neatness, propriety, delicacy, or refinement — people were nice in their dress, in their sentiments, or their choice. But now every commendation on every subject is comprised in that one word.”
    “While, in fact,” cried his sister, “it ought only to be applied to you, without any commendation at all. You are more nice than wise. Come, Miss Morland, let us leave him to meditate over our faults in the utmost propriety of diction, while we praise Udolpho in whatever terms we like best.”
    Northanger Abbey, chp 14
    OK, so that really isn’t much to do with your post but it’s what I thought of immediately. :o)
    Or maybe it does: You are more nice than wise. Kindness, compassion, and consideration are part of being “wise” in social situations. Whether you are being “nice” by being passively affirming or nit-pickingly precise, it’s more important to cultivate that social wisdom into a consistent and pure motivation for your words and actions.
    *isn’t sure if that makes any sense or is exactly what she means — but posts it anyway*

  • DT says:

    As soon as i read “Udolpho” I KNEW what you were talking about!! lol, Jane Austen is one of my all time fave authors, and I love Northanger Abbey for being so tongue-in-cheek.
    All in all, I definitely wish to be more wise than nice. 😉 *doubts the utmost propriety of her own diction, yet continues to post away*

  • julieatnu says:

    Oooh! NA is one of my favorites too! Good thing you’re on my f-list, eh? 😉

  • DT says:

    Actually, YES! *remembers her copy of Northanger Abbey is up in her dorm room* Ok, gotsa to go read. 🙂

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