March 15, 2005 § 3 Comments

I recently listened to the director’s commentary and was sent into joyful, geeky overload when PJ and Fran actually TALKED ABOUT FIGWIT!!! *swoon* Could ya die?

So, in honor of my favorite elf extra who’s inexplicable popularity rivals that of Boba Fett, I submit these two parodies. They are old, Father William, but I like them anyway.

FIGWIT, I’m in Love
(to the tune of the Cure’s “Friday, I’m in Love”)

I don’t care if Boromir’s blue
Frodo’s Grea… and Pippin, too
Legolas, I don’t care about you,
It’s Figwit, I’m in love
Merry you can fall apart
Gandalf/Balrog, break my heart
Gimli doesn’t even start
It’s Figwit, I’m in love
Uruk-Haaai! Wraiths!
Samwise stands at Mordor’s gates
But Figwit merely contemplates
I don’t care if Gollum’s black
Slinker/stinker– off my back!
Rivendell, I am coming back,
It’s Figwit, I’m in love!
Aragorn needs a shave instead
Please get Frodo out of bed
This Council meeting I won’t dread
It’s Figwit, I’m in love
Uruk-Haaai! Wraiths!
Samwise stands at Mordor’s gates
But Figwit merely contemplates
At the council of the Ring
It’s a beautiful thing
With that Elvish air, though he don’t say a thing
Thrown in with the crowd
Don’t he look so proud
Is he Elrond’s kid
Or just a face in the crowd
What’s he doing there?
He just sits and he stares
Doesn’t anyone else seem to care?
But I can’t get enough,
Enough of this stuff
It’s Figwit,
I’m in love!

You Never Give Me Your One Ring (Boromir’s Song)
(to the tune of “You Never Give Me Your Money” from The Beatles’ Abbey Road)

You never give me your OneRing
You only give me your lame excuses
And in the middle of orc abuses,
I’m shot down

I never give you my motives
I only give you my vague intentions
And in the middle of interrogations,
I fall down

Out of Gondor
Daddy sent
See bleak future
What’s dream meant
All the halflings here
So where to go?

Tiny OneRing
‘Sildur’s bane
Gondor has no,
Needs no king
Let’s take it now
And fight the foe!

But oh, that Halfling’s bleating,
So where to go?
Where to go?

(musical bridge with guitar build…)

One bad dream
Pack up the horse
Go see the Elven king.
Soon we’ll know what’s going on
Fight all the orcs
Save Gondor today

One bad dream
Came true… today
Came true… today

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