LJ Idol Week 13 Topic: Apathy (I wish I Didn’t Care)
February 8, 2010 § 9 Comments
My baby is screaming.
I can’t concentrate on anything and I am hung up on accomplishing certain tasks. But I despair of accomplishing ANYTHING, and I’m trying not to care.
I’m trying to tell myself that it doesn’t really matter, that I don’t need to [insert pressing chore here] and that the world won’t end if certain things don’t get done.
Apathy is frickin’ hard. To be truly apathetic, one must obliterate something from one’s mind as if it never was. But if you were to ever think of that thing, you are no longer apathetic (so long as it is before your thoughts) because the acknowledgment of a thing’s existence automatically generates an opinion, a thought, a feeling.
There’s plenty I don’t think about. I could probably rattle off a list of them if I thought long and hard enough. But the very act of putting the effort and energy into thinking of them may be more than my thoughts and opinions of them are worth.
And the baby is screaming.
So I don’t have time for apathy.
No mother does.