What a life…

February 15, 2010 § 14 Comments

Today has been very emotionally charged. I am recognizing uncomfortable truths about myself, and wondering what might happen next.

See, I’m not terribly easy to get along with. Ask anyone who has known me for any length of time. I have a very intense personality, and a propensity toward compulsive brutal honesty.

I tend to overwhelm folks and make them very uncomfortable. Therefore, I have very few close friends. In the last year or so, I have been making new friends and broadening my horizons. But I find I am now at that stage in my new relationships where my passionate nature, and tendency to press my finger to tender spots, is starting to wear out my welcome. At least it feels that way.

The fact is, I don’t mean to be impolitic, or to be … too much. It really sucks, as a matter of fact, to feel like my very nature pushes people away. I really care a great deal about people, and always mean well. But it doesn’t matter if your good intentions are to drive nails if you keep hitting fingers. Folks are still getting hurt.


Please be patient with me, I’m not complete yet.


§ 14 Responses to What a life…

  • belgatherial says:

    Hey. I saw you dropped out of idol and wanted to post and say I really enjoyed working with you, and will be keeping you friended on lj.
    As one brutally honest person to another? Hang in there. There are people who appreciate honesty more than tact.

  • ::hugs::
    I hope you play the home game in Idol?:)

  • hannahsarah says:

    You sound EXACTLY like me. You’re going to have to try a lot harder than that to scare me off. 😀
    My fiance was complaining about his aches and pains the other day, and he said “What do you want with a decrepit old guy like me anyway?” and I said “You’re the only one who will put up with my moods.”

  • flutterings says:

    Some people value honesty more than tact; you’ll find those people 🙂

  • ::hugs:: Love, it’s ok. You’re ok just the way you are.

  • bojojoti says:

    I know I can be a bit much. I’m a perfectionist. When I get a goal, I push, push, push until it’s accomplished and drive everyone around me crazy. I’m too open, and I’m brutally honest. I shouldn’t be asked my opinion unless the person really wants to know what I think.
    I know all this about myself, and I work hard to temper these bends. I’ve encouraged my family to tell me when I’m crossing the line, and I try to listen and make adjustments.
    We are all works in progress.

  • DT says:

    Aw, thanks! I really enjoyed working with you as well. I felt the piece we did together was one of my best efforts all season, and I was really proud of what we did–plus, other folks recc’ed us!! That was the first time ever any of my pieces had been recommended. Maybe we’ll have opportunity to wriete together again sometime– I think we make a good team!
    On the tact front, I have been learning to say things in a … kinder way. But that doesn’t mean folks still want to hear it. lol!

  • DT says:

    Absolutely! I may even post the entry I failed to link yesterday. Perhaps there will be another topic it will fit with.

  • DT says:

    Heh, sometimes I wonder how the heck my husband stayed around long enough to marry me!
    My best friend told me last night that she’s glad that I’m “brave” enough to say call things as I find them. I told her it has nothing to do with bravery– it’s more like a compulsion!

  • DT says:

    Thank you… I’ve found a few. 🙂

  • DT says:

    *hugs* Thanks! 🙂

  • You’re very welcome cause I’m the same way.

  • belgatherial says:

    Did they? I totally missed that. There has been so much going on though!!
    I have, over the years, learnt to wrap my truths up in cotton wool. I speak the truth. I just do it more… nicely? positively? It took me a while, but I think I got there.

  • kengara says:

    Don’t worry about driving me off 🙂

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