October 13, 2010 § Leave a comment
Matt and I are expecting! I am due about mid-June.
This time around, I expect it to be a very different experience. First of all, because I’ve done it already. I remember thinking throughout my entire pregnancy with Ella, every single day, “It’s gonna hurt!” But, now having labored for 36 hours and pushed for two, (with a baby facing sideways!) I think I have an idea of just how bad it can hurt, and so that element of the unknown has been removed.
Psychologically speaking, I think the first full-term pregnancy is probably generally the most trying because you have zero point of reference for what is happening to you, and what is going to happen. Sure, I researched and read, asked questions and tried to make myself as informed as possible the first time around. But there is really no way to completely prepare for such a thing.
This time, though it’s really early yet, I feel a lot more calm about the whole thing. That may change as my pregnancy progresses, but for now, I have complete peace and bliss over the whole thing.
Another factor is that I am planning for a totally different birth experience this time around. With each of my previous pregnancies, I had wanted to have a midwife assisted home birth, but after losing the first two, and the range of complications I experienced with Ella, I decided to go OB/hospital birth. I thought if I went in prepared, with birth plan in hand, that I could avoid a lot of the typical interventions. I now realize how naive that view was, and so now my attitude is “Hospitals are for medical emergencies only!” Unless my birth turns into a medical emergency, it’s homebirth all the way, baby!!
My first appointment with my midwife is in December. That’s a huge change from last time, since I saw the OB every single month before. My first thought was “Oh no! What if something goes wrong before then?” But then I realized the fundamental difference between midwifery and medicalized births: Midwifery assumes that everything will be fine and there won’t be any complications. Medicalized birth assumes that any and everything can go wrong, and one must be vigilant for every contingency and test for every possible problem!
I like the relaxed, peaceful, and positive attitude inherent in the philosophy that says, “This is a completely normal process. Woman have birthed for thousands of years, and I am designed for this process.”
I was created to birth babies! That’s an amazingly comforting thought! My sole purpose in life may not be to procreate, but of all the things God intends for me to do in this life, He made me a woman, and capable of conceiving and carrying new life! Since He designed me thus, and has given me the privilege to once more grow a brand new human person in my womb, I have nothing to worry about. Should any issues, problems or surprises come up, He will equip me to handle them, and there are systems in place already for any and every possible outcome.
But I won’t be ever looking out for any outcome except for the most logical and likely; a healthy, safe, natural birth for me and my baby.