October 6, 2008 § 23 Comments
Ode to a Diner
Through the tinny
Fans rage as glasses chink
And diners scrape plates
Over the days events.
On the jukebox
As Lazy Dog* lurks
Through yonder window.
Behind the counter
As waiters waft by
To grant your fill.
Try not to choke
On the atmosphere that is
*Lazy Dog was the name of the bar next door to the diner. Neither establishment exists today.
October 5, 2008 § 7 Comments
This week is only the second week of therealljidol competition, and I am third from the bottom. I mean, really. While my entry may not have been the Great American Novel or anything, I think it’s at least sufficient to stay on the competition. I had heard before hand that this was in a lot of ways a popularity contest, and after reading some of the entries that have a lot of votes, I’m starting to wonder.
Oh well, I will have to cease to worry about it. The sun does not rise or set on whether people like me, or my writing.
But on the off chance that you do like me or my writing, you can always vote here.
October 2, 2008 § 5 Comments
You all laugh at me
Like I’m not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me’s all about apathy
And the other half just doesn’t care
Apathetic Way to Be– Relient K
I have struggled all week with whether I even care about this topic or not. Being the passionate person that I am, I cannot think of anything I care about (either in a for or against fashion) that doesn’t truly warrant my concern. If it doesn’t warrant my concern, then, to my mind, it is not something I should care about, therefore, my apathy is merely in passing– a result of my current state, not the state itself. I suppose one could say I am uber apathetic about those things which do not gain my attention, and therefore, they are so utterly irrelevant as to not exist. I don’t know if that makes it an active, or a passive apathy… it is what it is, and I either care or I don’t and if I don’t care, then it probably doesn’t really matter in the whole grand scheme of things. Which sounds awfully arrogant that I feel my thoughts on a topic reflect it’s overall global importance, but there it is.
That’s not to say I cannot be taught to care… I suppose. For instance, perhaps there is something out there that is so far off my radar as to my genuinely not being aware of it. Say, there’s some sort of horrors happening in some far off make-believe world like, I don’t know, Darfur. Yeah, something like that, if it was brought to my attention, I am sure knowledge would displace apathy and I would be filled with its opposite, concern.
So I guess there are things I should care about, but don’t and that being due to ignorance, rather than apathy.
Now, if the question is “What am I apathetic towards which others are not?” then that’s a WHOLE ‘nother ball of wax. The answer there would be PLENTY. There is much which I do not care about which seems to be of screaming consequence to the majority of folks out there. Gender issues, gays in the military, gays getting married, gays doing anything, really, whether the government should or should not go to war or stay at war, or fund other people’s wars or make love not war, global warming, climate change, the end of an ice age, the plight of the polar bears whatever are all a smattering of topics about which I care very little but many folks seem to feel are deserving of marches, parades and homemade signage.
For me to be truly apathetic, I feel it must be so far beneath my concern as to not even warrant the formation of an opinion on the matter. If I care enough about a subject to put the emotional and intellectual effort to create an opinion, then already, my apathy has been disengaged. Of course, I suppose, I could allow the opinion formation to just be a blip on my mental landscape and quickly revert back to apathy, but this would require the subsequent instant rejection of said opinion, and allowing it to drift loose on the ether, forgotten and no longer held. An aborted opinion so to speak; formed, but not held for long enough to grow and become a part of my character.
Yeah, there’s a lot of stuff like that out there I’m sure. Topics which I will not allow to spend a moment’s time on my mental doorstep before I’m shooing it off with a large broom like a harried housewife with too many strays lurking about.
It’s uber-apathy, because to me, if it’s not worth thinking about, it might just as well not exist.
September 18, 2008 § 25 Comments
In the spirit of honest introductions, I shall introduce myself with the fact that I hate doing introductions. I never know what to say, or whether I’ve said too much or not enough. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that I am actually a closeted lover of self-intros since everyone really does love to talk about themselves. I just don’t like admitting that, or indulging my secret passion for self-aggrandizement.
For instance, I really am uncomfortable with the greeting, “How are you?” because people generally don’t want to know how you are, and if you breach protocol and give them the run down, they think you are weird. Perhaps I am a touch awkward that way.
So there you go, I am a closeted narcissist with social anxiety who thinks waaaay too much about things. Your typical run of the mill geek, in the flesh.
Some basic stats:
I will be 33 this month.
I am married.
I am opening my own business– a coffeehouse.
I am sensitive to caffeine and therefore cannot drink my own product (much.)
I ❤ irony.
I am passionate about religion, history, animals, food and children, though not necessarily in that order.
linked to therealljidol