October 13, 2010 § Leave a comment
Matt and I are expecting! I am due about mid-June.
This time around, I expect it to be a very different experience. First of all, because I’ve done it already. I remember thinking throughout my entire pregnancy with Ella, every single day, “It’s gonna hurt!” But, now having labored for 36 hours and pushed for two, (with a baby facing sideways!) I think I have an idea of just how bad it can hurt, and so that element of the unknown has been removed.
Psychologically speaking, I think the first full-term pregnancy is probably generally the most trying because you have zero point of reference for what is happening to you, and what is going to happen. Sure, I researched and read, asked questions and tried to make myself as informed as possible the first time around. But there is really no way to completely prepare for such a thing.
This time, though it’s really early yet, I feel a lot more calm about the whole thing. That may change as my pregnancy progresses, but for now, I have complete peace and bliss over the whole thing.
Another factor is that I am planning for a totally different birth experience this time around. With each of my previous pregnancies, I had wanted to have a midwife assisted home birth, but after losing the first two, and the range of complications I experienced with Ella, I decided to go OB/hospital birth. I thought if I went in prepared, with birth plan in hand, that I could avoid a lot of the typical interventions. I now realize how naive that view was, and so now my attitude is “Hospitals are for medical emergencies only!” Unless my birth turns into a medical emergency, it’s homebirth all the way, baby!!
My first appointment with my midwife is in December. That’s a huge change from last time, since I saw the OB every single month before. My first thought was “Oh no! What if something goes wrong before then?” But then I realized the fundamental difference between midwifery and medicalized births: Midwifery assumes that everything will be fine and there won’t be any complications. Medicalized birth assumes that any and everything can go wrong, and one must be vigilant for every contingency and test for every possible problem!
I like the relaxed, peaceful, and positive attitude inherent in the philosophy that says, “This is a completely normal process. Woman have birthed for thousands of years, and I am designed for this process.”
I was created to birth babies! That’s an amazingly comforting thought! My sole purpose in life may not be to procreate, but of all the things God intends for me to do in this life, He made me a woman, and capable of conceiving and carrying new life! Since He designed me thus, and has given me the privilege to once more grow a brand new human person in my womb, I have nothing to worry about. Should any issues, problems or surprises come up, He will equip me to handle them, and there are systems in place already for any and every possible outcome.
But I won’t be ever looking out for any outcome except for the most logical and likely; a healthy, safe, natural birth for me and my baby.
January 20, 2010 § 4 Comments
I seem to be hungry all the time. Ever since I stopped puking towards the end of my pregnancy, I have been ravenously hungry. All. The. Time.
I guess it is probably because of nursing. I know as soon as she latches on, I become instantly thirsty. But the hunger… constant.
Unfortunately, I’ve been consistently inconsistent in eating the way I know I should. So much junk food and fast food– way more than I would eat prior to becoming pregnant. In fact, we didn’t have ANY fast food for a couple of years before I got pregnant. Now, the Dollar Menu is like my best friend. Meh. And I have already lamented my sugar issues.
I know better, and prefer the wholesome foods. But convenience and immediacy have been ruling my appetites for about a year now. And I’m suffering for it.
It’s no wonder I’m always hungry– my body is malnourished, even as I gain weight. It’s time to stop the madness.
Now playing: Switchfoot – Only Hope
January 20, 2010 § 6 Comments
This morning, I brushed my hair back out of my face with my hand. And came away with a handful of hair. Ugh. I’ve hit that point postpartum where my strong pregnancy nails and lush pregnancy hair are now defeated. My fingernails, which grew at a phenomenal rate during and for several months after my pregnancy now barely grow and break like … things that break really easily.
Meanwhile, my hair has decided to part with my scalp like so many rats from a sinking ship. My scalp is clearly visible through what remains. Bleh. And my shower drain is sloooooow, despite my best efforts to harvest the little deserters before they can make their escape into the sewer. grr. My hair is fleeing to the ocean, and I cannot stop it.
I ate a cream filled donut for breakfast. 😦 The worst part is that it was old and stale. It is imperative that I break this sugar addiction. I crave it like smack. Just shoot straight powdered sugar up my veins and I couldn’t be happier. I think I may need to take 12 Steps back from sugar. For serious. I can’t stop eating sweets, and I’ve gained so much of my pre-pregnancy weight back that once loose jeans are now tight and uncomfortable. So discouraging.
I’m combating this poor choice with a chicken sandwich made with my homemade bread, mayo, pastured chicken, organic baby carrots and a tall glass of raw dairy. I feel my body thanking me.
I was inspired to write a PotC drabble for blackpearlsails this morning. The muse doesn’t often strike, but the imagery was so compelling and clear, I had to run with it. If only I could run with this week’s topic for therealljidol, Run, Don’t Walk.
Still thinking on that.
Now playing: Steven Curtis Chapman – Lord Of The Dance (Abbey Road Version)
August 20, 2009 § 6 Comments
I made myself a sirloin steak for lunch. I also fried up some potstickers and tater tots for a complete meal.
I’ve had a pseudo productive morning. I tried to mow the lawn, but finally had to give it up. We have one of those old fashioned push mowers which runs on people power, as opposed to gas– and the grass in our yard is that tough nasty stuff that grows in clumps rather than a nicely rolling lawn. I finally gave it over as a bad job, and now my arms are killing me.
But at least I have steak.
I really need to have this baby asap. I talked to my mother-in-law this morning and had failed to register that the 24th– the day they are coming up– is THIS MONDAY. For some reason, the 24th was this distant amorphous date to me. They will only be here for a week, and if the baby doesn’t come in that time, they won’t get to see her. I don’t know why they only planned for a week up here, really. They are both retired– it’s not like they have jobs to rush back to. Maybe they can extend their stay once they get up here.
My mom said to call the OB and schedule an induction for next week. She said the fear of the induction may push me into labor. 😛 That’s what happened fro her, anyway with my youngest sister. She was so afraid of the pain, that she went into labor mere hours before the scheduled induction. But really, I don’t want to be induced– especially just to accommodate someone else’s travel plans, you know? Birth is one of those things that, the more you mess with it, the more you invite trouble.
August 12, 2009 § 1 Comment
I woke up a little before 6 this morning. And now seem to be almost entirely wide awake. It’s not my usual pattern, which tends to follow bathroom breaks every two to three hours a night, with my first waking period being 1:30, followed by 3:30-4, then around 7 and then I go back to bed until about quarter to 10. Usually. Depending on how much time was spent trying to get back to sleep during one of those interruptions, I may find my lie-in can last past 11.
All bets will be off once little one gets here, off course.
I discovered some interesting facts yesterday about how much weight I should expect to lose immediately upon having the baby, and then in the weeks to come. The article said “Don’t expect to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight for quite a while,” but based on the numbers they threw out there, and the fact that through this pregnancy I’ve only gained 15 pounds so far, it sounds like I should go past my pre-pregnancy weight and weigh less than I did to start. Go me!
Of course, my pre-pregnancy weight isn’t all that great to begin with, but I’ll take what I can get.
One thing I have been looking forward to in delivering the baby was a return to normalcy in my bathroom habits. The MOST annoying thing to me about being pregnant (of all the inconveniences and random pains etc) is the peeing ALL. THE. TIME. It wouldn’t be so bad, I suppose if our one and only bathroom was not positioned at the farthest point in the house from our bedroom, and involved a flight of stairs, but there you go. I have contemplated peeing in a bowl by the bed, and fantasized about a return to chamber pots; but so far have had no accidents, and have just sucked it up and made my multiple nocturnal journeys.
So imagine my surprise and chagrin to read in this article that my need to eliminate will go UP after delivery, and I may not even feel it do to the trauma to those areas resulting from the birthing process? Apparently, it is typical to lose another four pounds of water weight over the next week through urination and perspiration, which sound like I’m gonna be a hot mess. Who may pee the bed. Not only will my child’s elimination needs be a new concern, but mine will now be as well. Oh fun.
Last night, we contemplated a trip to the ER, as my heart began to pound heavily for a very long time, and I couldn’t sit up for any length without becoming dizzy and light headed. I figure it is probably dehydration, so I am drinking more water and such. I just don’t want to make any trips to the hospital until it is TIME, and unless it seems dire and imperative that I go. I’m just lazy like that. So I listened to my HypBirth CD’s to relax and try and regulate my breathing/heartbeat, drank more water and went to bed. By the end of the CD, I felt better, and my heart rate had slowed down to a more normal rate, and I was able to get some sleep.
I’m feeling much better today, and my other problem seems to have slowed down, if not resolved itself. YAY! I hope.
I think I may be able to go back to bed now, and squeeze out a few more precious hours of sleep. I was starting to get concerned by last night that with the weakness and exhaustion brought on by my little bug, if I were to go into labor, I wouldn’t have the strength to endure it. So I’m going to try and recoup today, and hopefully build up for The Big One. And maybe after that, start packing carbs. Like before a race.
August 9, 2009 § 7 Comments
Yeah for any who may be interested, concerned or mildly curious, my extended absence from lj had nothing to do with being in labor or anything. We just couldn’t access lj for several days there. Not real sure why but we could not pull it up at all. It was the only site we had trouble accessing. I blame the Russians.
So, yeah, still pregnant. Today, the pastor– from the pulpit– asked, “Dawn! Why are you still here?”
I’m huge, and getting… huger. Each day, I can see how my stretch marks have grown longer. I think they are going to grow right over my shoulders and start working down my back soon. But my nursing bras came yesterday, so I’m very happy about that. I’m even more happy that they were only $20 a piece, and are very comfy.
Tomorrow is going to be miserable. They are calling for thunderstorms and 97 degree temps. UGH. There is also an excessive heat warning until Tuesday. Is there anything worse than HOT thunderstorms? blecch
I’ve been sick for several days now. Seems those flu-like symptoms I was having last week were the precursor to a genuine stomach bug. I was running a low grade fever, and at this point, I do not believe there is anything left in my intestines. I called the doc and spoke to a nurse and she said there is really nothing they can have me take for it since I’m pregnant, but on the bright side, with my bowel being so irritated, it may push me into labor by triggering contractions. So, influenza for the WIN! I just keep taking Tylenol for the fever/achiness of it all, and hoping things will move along.
Oddly enough, it really hasn’t affected my appetite– I remain very very hungry. All the time.
August 6, 2009 § 7 Comments
It was a rough night. I had intensely painful contractions that radiated from my spine all the way around to the front lasting about a minute each at about 5 minutes apart until 2:30 AM. Just at the time when I woke Matt up with “I think this is it!” Then they stopped. Of course.
Today, I feel yucky. Stopped up, general ickiness. And my crock pot is broken. I am so upset about this. Y’all know I love me my crock pot. Apparently, the crock itself has a crack in the bottom, and I can see that it is leaking onto the heating element. I was planning on making some crock pot spaghetti, but now have to go the traditional route. That’s happily simmering away on the stove right now, but of course, one of the benefits of crocks is that they don’t heat up the whole kitchen. I’m a muck of sweat right now.
But the spaghetti smells good.
ETA: Spaghetti R gud.